JamRock in Paris: September 2007

Myth, Legend or Fact?

Today, I woke up at 9 am and was late for my 10 o’clock appointment with the midwife! My husband had a hard time sleeping last night and kept waking me with his sighing and tossing. I guess the 'males-whose-partners-are-pregnant-become-'psychologically'-pregnant-as-well" myth may just be true!! I mean he dreamt that he was pregnant last week then when I asked him, how he'd felt, he simply told me: "Great!" and turned back to his computer.

So two pregnant people in a medium size bed made for a rough night last night, and I got up with a late start and just couldn't get to the RDV on time, despite the fact that I literally ran down our 4 flights of stairs, darted across the little park leading to the metro, jogged down the stairs to the platform and skillfully hopped into the metro as it arrived. For a whole of 15 minutes, I almost forgot I was blooming pregnant and I became the skinny old me running around all over Paris - long legs taking me along swiftly and decisively! *grin*

It was not until I arrived huffing and puffing into room 117-118 at the clinique did I remember that I was actually pregnant and not as agile as before! There were 5 other women sitting comfortably backs against soft cushions, with one male amongst them; they greeted me with a smile and the assurance that the session hadn’t started as yet, even though I was 20 minutes late. Phew!

As I caught my breath, I glanced at the 5 other bellies around me and noted that we were all probably around the same time as me. The midwife arrived 5 minutes later to start the second in a series of 8 2-hour sessions at the clinique where I shall deliver in another month or so. Today we were to talk about preparing the hospital bags for baby and mother, topped off with a half an hour of sophrology (relaxation).

Midwives are very important in France. They are the ones to actually do all the 'dirty work', well, dirty is not quite the right word - but all this to say that they are the ones to greet you as you arrive at the hospital either neurotic, suffering and or screaming, or all of the above (ok, ok, this is what we see in the movies, but women do not always arrive at the hospital kicking and spitting fire!); they stay with you while you are in labour (which can vary from one to 10 hours), calming, guiding and assuring you and then when the baby is about to come out, the Doctor is called in to ‘deliver’ ! Tadaa!! (Of course, given that there are no complications such as a caesarean or something like that).

So she informed us that babies are under the tropics in their cocoon and upon arrival this temperature needs to be reproduced – as a result, bodysuit, overall, vest, socks, cap and mittens are needed right away, along with a warm blanket and of course the mother’s and father’s body heat. And 8 of each of these items will be needed for each day, plus pajamas, towels, ointments, lotions and soaps, hairbrush, nasal aspirator, medicine spoon and dropper, etc., etc. The minimum stay at my clinique being 4-5 days.

Allow me a small aparté: - nasal aspirators – what an invention! I remember growing up in Jamaica seeing women taking their baby’s nose into their mouths and sucking as if there was no tomorrow!!! Aaaaagggghhh!

And as for the mother’s bag: a t-shirt for comfort (though the hospital provides those green or blue gowns we see in the movies all the time), socks because with the exertion and fatigue, women’s feet seem to go cold, a lemon and a mineral water spray for hydration, breastfeeding tops and bras, a hairdryer in case of an episiotomy (ouch!), toiletries, towels, medical papers, etc., etc.

Now for some interesting facts/questions that were discussed:
1. Before the birth: strengthening the perineum. This area, from the vagina to the anus, has been the target of much discussion for decades, and I am not sure which research accounts for the ‘truth’
a. First school of thought: one must strengthen this muscular area by using Kegel exercises (clenching and unclenching vaginal muscles during and after urination) and all this in order to prevent an episiotomy or a cesarean.
b. Second school of thought, Kegel exercises should only be used after giving birth to strengthen the vaginal muscles that were stretched during birth. Instead, with the use of a special massage oil, one should massage the perineum for 5 mins every day in order to make it soft and flexible during delivery.
2. Breastfeeding: As of the 7th month, women should massage their nipples with the use of lanolin in order to stimulate milk production and prevent sore and cracked nipples.
3. When baby is born in France, one has strictly 3 days to declare the birth! If this delay is not respected, the parents will be taken to court and a nice fee of I- don’t-know-how-much-thousand-euros will be paid!
4. French law states that the father or another able person who was present during delivery (the doctor or midwife or nurse) should declare the birth. What is interesting is that this declaration ‘recognises’ the father as the sole responsible adult; meaning he is declared 100% responsible for the child and in essence, the mother doesn’t actually exist! This declaration is done at the City Hall (mairie) of the area (arrondissement) where the baby is born. A birth certificate and a carnet de santé, which is a health notebook that will contain the child’s health records: vaccinations, check-ups, operations, illnesses etc., are issued immediately.
5. Recognising the child is completely different from registering or declaring its birth. Recognising the child is to take place at 6 months of pregnancy and at the City Hall of residence. After declaring the child at the City hall of birth, one must ‘confirm’ the birth at the City hall of residence.
6. Maternity and paternity leaves: mothers are obliged to stop work for a minimum of 8 weeks, 6 of which after the birth. One may choose to shorten the maternity leave within those limits. Fathers are entitled to a leave of 3 days immediately after the birth plus a leave of 11 consecutive days to be taken within 4 months of the birth and 18 days for a multiple birth!
7. Sleeping positions: babies should sleep on their backs and not on their bellies, dressed in pajamas and a sleep gown. No blankets or covers needed. No pillow should be used and baby should sleep in a slightly elevated position in order to prevent getting a cold.
8. To be or not to be sterilised - that is the question!!

a. First school of thought believes that bottles and nipples should be sterilized immediately after use
b. Second school of thought believes that only the nipples should imperatively be sterilized and bottles may be washed with the use of warm water, normal dishwashing liquid and a bottle washer.

9. Travelling with baby: car seats should not be used for travelling more than an hour. For longer trips, a bassinet should be used instead, where baby is completely lying down.

So myth, legend or reality? Some are French law and traditions. Each country has its traditions –which is normal given the difference in policies, weather, health conditions, food, etc.

My conclusion, you may ask? Well, at least I have been informed. I will now wait for maternal instincts coupled with some experienced advice from friends and family members.